


Reluctant Heroes

by orphan_account



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family, Friendship/Love, Inspired by Music, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-01
Updated: 2013-09-01
Packaged: 2017-12-25 07:03:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/950116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Levi and Eren grieve for their squad's death.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Reluctant Heroes

**Author's Note:**

> I got the idea for this while listening to the Piano cover of Reluctant Heroes, which is the song I imagined Eren playing in this fic. I hope you enjoy it!

To say that everyone was sad was an understatement. The air was filled with sorrow and grief, and not many people were up and about, mostly hidden away in their rooms to mourn the loss of so many comrades. One thing that was one everyone’s mind was squad Levi. No one dared talk about it with each other, but the recent slaughter of every member except Eren and Levi was a devastating blow to every single one of them. Neither of the boys would leave their room, even to eat, and the days were growing longer as more and more people feared for their safety. No one worried for Levi, because he was strong, and no one had ever seen him break. But Eren had went into his titan form when the squad was killed, bloodlust and anger overthrowing him. The members all feared for him.

But their fears were all for not, because Eren was not angry. He was empty. He had spent the better part of months bonding and growing with them, sharing meals and training hours and arguments and laughs with them. They were his newly found family, and the loss of them angered him only until he had gotten back to the sanctity of his silent room, reflecting and deeply having to accept that they were gone. They were gone and he would never hear Petra’s laugh again, or feel her motherly hugs. He would never hear Gunther praise him, or Erd complain about something light heartedly. He would never watch Auruo bite his stupid tongue again. They were gone and he had to accept it. For the six days they had been back, Eren did not much other than lay in his bed staring at the stone ceiling, his eyes void of any emotion, even anger, sadness, or frustration.

Levi, on the other hand, was still the same as always, seemingly. On the outside he seemed the same, but in his mind, havoc reared its ugly head and plagued him. He refused to let himself slip away. At the first moment he swore his heart to these men and women he swore he would always move forward and never let it be that his comrades died in vain. But right now, his family was gone. He loved them more than anyone else he’d ever encountered, along with Erwin and Hanji, and they weren’t there with him anymore. He had once again lost the people that mattered to him, and because of this, he found himself slowly losing the ability to keep his promise. It was lifeless in this state of mind, thinking through all the wonderful memories, even though he had never visibly smiled through any of them, and reminiscing all the times when those four had made him never regret joining the scouting legion. He had spent the days back at headquarters locked away in his room, only accepting Erwin as an intruder to bring him tea. He didn’t eat, and his paperwork piled upon itself, neglected through the bouts of depression that struck him. 

Now normally, no one would let Eren just wander around, but today, since he hadn’t been seen in almost a week, no one bothered him. He didn’t seem to be going anywhere specific anyway, but everyone thought it best not to question him. Even Jean noticed that Eren’s eyes were especially empty, and couldn’t help feel complete empathy for him. After he found Marco dead, he couldn’t move, think, or speak normally out of pure shock, and the weeks after that seemed to be filled with a void of emptiness. But Jean knew that he couldn’t even fully understand; because he had not watched Marco be killed in front of his eyes, and Marco was one person…but four? He knew that the green eyed boy was in no place to be trying to get over that right now. So, everyone basically let him do as he pleased. 

Eren found himself in a long hallway, which was usually where the higher-ups offices were, but also held recreational rooms. He knew that his wandering was pointless, but he wanted to make sure everyone knew he wasn’t dead, or going insane, or hurting himself at the very least. It had been an excruciating week, and he wondered how Levi was doing as he passed the man’s office, noticing that the lights were shut off inside. He had considered going inside to talk, but he knew. He knew that Levi probably hated him right now, knowing that if he had just believed in himself that those four and many others’ lives would have been spared. It was his fault, and Levi probably knew that as much as he did.   
With these thoughts, he quickened his pace, making his way down the hallway. About two doors away though, he noticed an opened frame with a small window, pouring in just enough light to see an almost empty room. The only thing that adorned the space was a grand piano seated just under the dusty rays of sunlight that dripped into the room through the cathedral style window. Oh, how Eren love the piano. It caught his eyes and for the first time since that day he felt a spark of passion arise inside him, his fingers twitching and aching to glide across the milky keys. 

He made his way into the room, noticing how much cooler it was than the hallway lit with oil lamps. The piano’s cover slid open with a squeak, but easily none the less. He dragged the bench out from underneath, dusting the cloth off with his hands, and sat, running his fingers over the cold keys. No one had touched this in years, and it was quite obvious that since it was one of the only rooms past Levi’s office, located in one of the most secluded places in the building, no one would be using it again for quite some time after him. It felt good to sit at a piano again, no having been able to touch one since before he left for military training. He took a deep breath, smiling, and began stroking his fingers across the keys, reveling in the beautiful sound it created.

Meanwhile, in Levi’s office, he was sitting at his desk with piles of pointless and disregarded paperwork towering over him as he sat, surrounded by darkness, sipping his tea that scalded his tongue. How to get his mind away from his demons was something he had no knowledge of how to do this time, for he’d never been this distraught over the deaths of his friends, or at least not this completely consumed. He placed the mug down on the wooden surface before loosening his cravat and leaning back in his chair, closing his eyes. He wanted to rest, to sleep and not wake back up, but not to die either. He just wanted to escape. But when he heard an unfamiliar sound trickling through the hallways and through his door, he halted, opening his eyes with a curiously furrowed brow. What was that, and who was doing it? It sounded like someone was playing the piano, but was there even a piano around here? He didn’t know of anyone who even knew how to play. He sighed, standing, and pulled the throw blanket he had around his shoulders tightly to block out the cold. When he opened the large door to his office and started down the hallway, the sound grew louder and louder until there, in an open dusty room, sat Eren at the most beautiful piano Levi had ever seen.

The song Eren played fluttered in the Corporal’s ears, sending goosebumps along his skin and tears to his eyes. He observes the younger boy’s face, seeing all of the emotions that he knew Eren had been suppressing until now flowing out of him as he let his tears fall to his hands as he played the beautiful melody, filling Levi’s heart with warmth he hadn’t felt in years. It was impeccable, and entrancing, blowing Levi away. He walked in slowly, hoping that Eren wouldn’t stop, that he was in so deep in his own little world that he wouldn’t notice the raven haired man walking in. 

It was about five minutes before Eren stopped moving his hands, instead collapsing into them, sobs wracking his body. The entire time he played the ballad, he thought of all the times he’d shared with his second family, and all the times he’d loved them. He thought of their faces, and Levi, and how his heart must be so broken and buried in despair. His body ached and shivered, but quickly ceased to move as he felt strong but small arms embrace him from behind, soft skin and hair nuzzling itself into his neck. Before he could speak, he realized it was Levi, and that the hot tears running down his back were all of his corporal’s regrets tearing from his body. He placed his hands over the older man’s that were gripping at his shirt, letting himself cry with Levi. They both needed this, and they both needed each other. Eren was the first to speak, wanting nothing more than to comfort the man silently losing himself on his shoulder.

“We’re whose left now, Heichou. We have to be there for each other now…I can’t bear to watch you leave me too…I just can’t. We have to be strong for them, because they wouldn’t want us to loath ourselves, or let our lives be consumed. They would want us to keep being happy, move forward, and live…Let’s live for them…”  
With his words, he felt his Corporal finally let out the sobs that had been eating him alive for so long, shredding his heart and soul from the inside out. They both stayed that way, Levi eventually moving beside Eren on the bench, having Eren play for him again, and falling asleep on the boy’s shoulder. They slept together in Levi’s room that night, after Eren carried the man back, and allowed each other to share their favorite story about all four of their members, and instead of destroying themselves over their deaths; they reveled in the experiences of their lives, and the love they both received from their family.


End file.
